When you play in the casino, your heart throbs as you are uncertain of the odds of you winning the bet or ending the night empty-handed. It's no 50/50 odds type of game; the game of life can be described more as 10/90. 10% of the time, you end up winning, but 90% of the time, you end up losing.
On my self-assessment on my gambling of life, the first 6 months proved that all of my gambles there were nothing but failures, leaving me empty-handed. I applied for the Editorial board position in the Guidon (when I was still part of Guidon), and I lost. I tried to get my vibe back as a news writer, but I lost the game. For 2 months, I was left wandering on what should I do. During the summer, I rediscovered my wants in life, and I came to realize that I should go back to my childhood passion, which was photography. For days during the summer, I was practicing all the possible scenarios of photography, from wildlife, to portrait, to events, to still life, and many many more. In that gamble, I succeeded, as I got to know fellow photographers who share the same desire for photography.
Last May, I confessed to a High School friend of mine that I have a liking for his ex-girlfriend, and it was so-so, as my HS friend felt "crushed" upon hearing it, while the girl seems to be fine with me. That was a gamble with no win or lose as a verdict. The days have gone by, and upon reaching my birthday, I wanted to get my gear to step up, and I gambled upon this used, worn out (but expensive) piece of glass for my camera. A big gamble on the part of my parents, it was a success, and it brought my photography ideas into new dimensions I have never imagine.
June came, and I started to get my life fixed, after summer's fiasco. I re-applied to Guidon (this time as a photographer, to the Company of Ateneo Dancers (not as a dancer, but as a photographer), and in my home organization, the Assembly, as a photographer. Everything was centered to this childhood fascination of mine, that for these past months, all I have been doing is to do various photoshoots, from fashion, to creative, to landscape, to candids, to strobist, and many many more.
Results came. Sadly, I didn't make it to the Guidon (it was a gamble anyway), but I surprisingly made it to CADS (which was beyond what I thought). My gamble with CADS was one of the breakthroughs for this year. As for CADS, more gambles came in. There was a sign-ups for the deputy positions, and I applied for the Documentations and Publications deputy despite being a total newbie at CADS (well not totally, since I do know a few people there), and to my surprise, I made it to the list. Another breakthrough with it. Despite being a newbie, the people at CADS trusted me that I have the potential to do things.
In philosophy, one of the many things I have learned is the search for your true self. As a constant process, we look at things surrounding us and see the importance / relevance of them towards our discovery of our being, and ultimately, God's purpose for us. Through these life gambles, win or lose, we still stand up and move on, and search for the true meaning of our purpose of our lives, and on why do we exist on earth.
These gambles, no matter how simple they may be, can lead or deceive us of our discovery of our true being, or in tagalog, ang ating pagmemeron.
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