Because we love to wish and wish.

As of my counting, it will be around a month before my birthday, and we all know that birthdays would mean receiving gifts. So here's my wish list for my upcoming 19th birthday (oh great, my last teen year has finally arrived):

An iPod touch. Well for this, any capacity would do (even the 8gb would suffice well); I'm not that much into videos, as my videos are video podcasts from Slate V, and my music amounts to around 4.9 GB. The thing I like with the iPod touch is that it works as a Personal Digital Assistant much better than my cellphone, plus its WiFi capability would mean I don't need to bring my laptop all of the time should I need to check my email or should I be in a mood to do a bit of on-the-go writing. If I could also find an application for it that enables word processing documents from Word and Pages, the iTouch would be my instant computer on-the-go.

Nike Dunks (Hi and / or Lo cut). Yes you heard it. I want to have one of them, but this time I will go for simple color layout instead of the funky layout that I got with my Superstars last December (with the help of Jan, Nichael, and Acor on the selection of the shoe). For the low cut, I like the Black and Red theme, while for the High Cut, I prefer the Black and Blue theme. For a change, I am returning to wearing black rubber shoes after being in the trend of wearing light colored shoes for four years. Yes I have a fashion trend when it comes to shoes (and which adds to why my Dad can't get any more angry when I tend to buy shoes once or twice a year; it has been my sickness since grade 6)

Any suitable lens upgrade to my stock 18-55 kit lens. Eventually, I figured out that although fast primes are the way to go for good photography, I find myself needing a zoom lens nonetheless. As for upgrading my kit lens, the one I am eyeing at for now is the used 17-35mm 2.8L lens my dad's friend is offering me.

New clothing (Tshirts, pants, tracktops). Speaking of clothes, I am after new sets of polo shirts (preferably the brands of Abercrombie and Lacoste), new slim fit jeans (preferably in dark tones, and preferably Levi's or Topman), and tracktops (preferably Adidas as I like their designs as compared to Nike's), and new sets of tees (preferably those that Nike Sportswear have been releasing recently). I am in search of a new clothes revamp recently. I don't know why, but well it just happens. 

A new backpack (with a laptop slot). Yes I want a laptop backpack, since a messenger laptop backpack is too heavy for me since the load is uneven with both of my shoulders. For the backpack, I like the one Samsonite has, which actually expands and transforms into an overnight bag, which is good for those overnight trips.

A bigger (and portable) Hard Drive. I am shocked upon realizing that the 160 GB external hard drive my dad gave me last year is almost 50% full, and that my laptop's hard drive  is also 50% full as well. Likewise, a portable 250GB one (preferably the Western Digital Passport series) would help me in storing more files and having my files on-the-go, since my current external Hard Drive is not portable.

An EOS 50D body. Simply put, I want a new camera body, and I want to step up to the semi-pro level.

A MacBook Pro 15 inch. Although I am contented with my current white 13-inch MacBook (which suffers from scratches and the occasional palmrest cracking), I simply like the design and style of the MacBook Pro. plus, it is made of Aluminum, which makes it a lot sleek.

Apple's new remote earphones. At last, Apple was able to redesign its earphones to last more than 4 months of extreme abuse. Because of that, I am eyeing at their unique earphones with the sleek remote in it. Only thing is that unless I get an iPod Touch, the remote function is practically useless on my iPod Video. Still, I am impressed at the fact that Apple managed to improve its earphones, making them better than other brands such as Sennheiser, Sony, and Phillips.

A Cross and Victorinox pen and Swiss knife gift set. I just saw this yesterday, and I do not know honestly why I want to have that since 1) I am not really a Cross pen user (but my Dad is), and 2) The Swiss Knife included in the gift box is like the one I have now. It's just I like to have it, that's all.

A Hoya R72 Infrared filter. I am itching for the desire to learn infrared photography, and I am thinking of getting this filter to mount on my 28mm 2.8 or my 50mm 1.8 so that I have an instant IR setup without having my 400D modified.

A new (but realistically old) set of collectible pens. I am quite sad that in my recent trips to Quiapo, I have not encountered any collector-worthy vintage Parker pen to add to my collection of vintage Parker pens. I did tell my Uncle in the United States to find me one (specifically, a Parker 51 Aerometric Fountain pen and Pencil set), but I am not sure if he manages to find one (these pens are more than half a decade old, and finding them in good condition is a big challenge). Nonetheless, I am eagerly waiting for my Uncle's package delivery this coming May.

A set of Staedler fineliners. These pens have to be THE pen that I love using recently as a College student (save from my workhorse Parker pens). I want to have a set of them to have the complete technicolor effect as I use them for my readings.

An IC voice recorder. I figured out that I will take the whole journalism thing as a serious thing, so getting a real voice recorder (not the one in my cellphone) would help me out in my future work as a journalist-to-be.

A trip outside of the Philippines. Simply put, I want to visit other places around the world. While this coming May I will be going to China and Hong Kong (with my Dad, Grandmother, and sister), I want to go to places such as Japan and Spain and appreciate their culture. 

Extreme happiness . . . and extreme crappiness

When I am asked about this week and the coming week, I would say that it is a good mix of both extremes: in a happy mood and in a grumpy, pissed-off mood.

Starting off with Monday, our house has welcomed a new addition to the family, and that is a 1 1/2 month old Dalmatian puppy, who is unique as it has perfectly black-colored ears that are symmetrical to its head (in terms of the black and white contrast of it's coat). So perfect, one would be reminded of one of the Dalamtians in cartoons. In addition, it has been quite a long time since we last took care of a puppy (the last one I remember was when I was 7 years old, but the puppy died :( ). Taking care of a puppy may be a bother, but it's fulfilling in the end. In fact, I get to teach Jackie (the name of the puppy) some tricks, like going out of the cage on his own, teaching her to jump, and toilet-training her. 

Sadly, the happiness became crappy last Thursday as my Dad, sister, and our driver became victims of injustice. Even if the driver made a mistake for the no U-turn thing and ran away, ending up hitting on one of the enforcer's motorcycles, the part that pissed me off there is the fact that they took away the car's plate (which they should not, since they are just enforcers and not police officers in the first place, AND they took the plate in a place BEYOND their jurisdiction), and they damaged the car (yep that sonuvabitch slammed something hard that it left a dent and some scratches in the hood). Those corrupt bastards will surely get bad karma for what they did.

But on the contrary, the government system isn't totally crappy after all, and the proof lies with the voter's registration, which I had yesterday. It was quite fast, that it took me only around 30 minutes maximum to get everything done, complete with picture. At least these people are making an effort for a better and more trusting 2010 elections. I still see a spark of hope left in this country.

Then afterwards, I decided to go to the Trans Sport show in Megamall. The last time I've been in that place was like when I was around 10 years old, and boy a lot of things changed. there were more JDM (Japan Domestic Models) on exhibit, among them the Corolla AE86, the 240sx drift car, a variety of Skylines (among them are a R32 GTS-T, a R33 GT-R, a R32 GT-R and two of the new R35 GT-R, of which I rode in each of them), a couple of ear-drum smashing cars with their humongous sound set-ups (among them the 90's Mustang, A 2006 Civic, and a Spacewagon), plus some well restored vintage rides (my personal faves: the two Lincoln Continentals, the Beetle Limo, the Old school Mustang, the first Generation Celica, a fully stock Lancer Box type, a 1940's Buick, and the Opel), and  the latest rides to date (the Evolution X, R35 GT-R, a Lotus Exige, a C63 AMG). It was indeed an awesome exhibit (even if I wasn't focusing that much on the models . . . I was after the cars, not the chicks ;) ). Then on the way home, I passed by a Camerahaus and finally I was able to find the proper lenscap for the 28mm 2.8 after going through various stores.

I wasn't able to male it to the Guidon GA but I was quite shocked at the requirements that my new boss (the ever bubbly, ever crazy, and ever smart Sasha Lim-Uy, who has the talent of Ayee and the temperament of AnnaBee, a combination made in heaven) is asking us. Two News articles (written in a News Feature-ish way, with a 2-page minimum requirement and three sources minimum), three old Guidon stories converted into glimpses (with only the important details), five suggested AVoice questions (which need an explanation for each on why it should be used as an AVoice), and the usual Resume are the things I have to work on. I am not expecting myself to finish everything though, given the timeline (everything must be done by Thursday, and boy, if I had summer classes to add, the difficulty would be tenfold then). Although I'm done with the latter three, I still think that the first two are the ones that matter the most. At first, I was intimidated at Sasha's requirements (which is expected of her to do since 1) It is 150 years of the Ateneo, and 2) It is 80 years of The GUIDON, so do the math), but on the other hand, the news-feature-ish way of writing stories was the style that my first boss (Ayee, my first mother figure in the Guidon) has been teaching me about. So hence, I should be able to do this well perhaps. all I need are the main people to interview, throw in relevant questions, make lots of note-taking (AnnaBee's main emphasis on me), pile all the relevant stuff together, and there we go, a news article with a dash of feature writing in it. It may seem hard, but I will find a way to do it.

As for today, well me and my mom and sister went to Ark Avilon (essentially a smaller version of Avilon Zoo that can be found in the metropolis, with the white Tiger as the showcase animal), and it was fun perhaps. I'm getting significant improvements on my photography skills, even if I would not be a photographer for Guidon (I figured out in the end that I cannot mix writing and photography together, so I'd concentrate on writing instead and leave photography as more of a hobby and writing as more of work). 

The show has just started essentially. Tomorrow, I will be off to Nueva Ecija in the morning, and do a shoot with a Philharmonic orchestra in the evening, and next week will be back-to-business mode as I start once again my work as a news writer.

Incoming trips:

For the month of May, I am quite excited for our usual Baguio trip on the first week of May, and a trip to China and Hong Kong on the third week of May. I'm excited for the latter, as it will be an opportunity for me to visit the Great Wall, the Bird's Nest (used during the Olympics last year), and Hong Kong Disneyland, plus a possibility of shopping in Hong Kong as well.

Birthday wishlist:

I have some things in mind but I guess I will reserve that for another blog

On love:

I'm inspiration-less, motivation-less, and love-less. But I guess it's better this way as it makes me concentrate more (not unless I get to see her again, which is an impossible reality).

Rain's a beauty

Amidst the summer heat, I was quite surprised to see rain pouring down yesterday night, while listening to old unknown ABBA songs my Dad has (and take note: they are in cassette tapes!).  Perfect mix for being in a state of sentimental during the (rainy) summer. Add to some listening to songs by the Killers, Franz Ferdinand, the Ting Tings, and Francis Magalona's "Kaleidoscope World", the mood has been set for me, perfectly like a dreamer and sentimental person with a dash of love, desire, and affection. Also, these songs were able to aid me in these times where I miss Jan badly. Yes, it has been a month since I last saw her (and gave her a hug, which is the second time I ever did such, the first one with Ayee, my former News Editor / Mentor / Mother figure in the Guidon two years ago). I don't know, but I just seem to be really missing her.

And speaking of missing her, I had a conversation with Acor (the Former EIC of the Guidon two years ago and Ayee's predecessor) about the rain, and I told her about me missing Jan. Cutting an excerpt from our conversation yesterday:

Me: 4/19/09 11:09 PM: namimiss ko na siya
Acor: 4/19/09 11:09 PM: awwww
Acor: 4/19/09 11:09 PM: hehe nakakausap mo pa ba?
Me: 4/19/09 11:09 PM: hindi eh
Acor: 4/19/09 11:10 PM: parang bihira na rin sya magonline lately eh
Me: 4/19/09 11:10 PM: yun din
Acor: 4/19/09 11:16 PM: aw baka mas ok na rin yun, para mas maka-move on ka?
Acor: 4/19/09 11:17 PM: haha parang distance muna from her
Me: 4/19/09 11:17 PM: pwede rin
Me: 4/19/09 11:17 PM: pero yun move on part wag na muna
Acor: 4/19/09 11:26 PM: haha bakit naman?
Me: 4/19/09 11:26 PM: basta

Honestly, it feels really good that your friends understand your feelings towards another person. In this case, my feelings for Jan (who is Acor's friend). Although Jan accepts me being her "admirer", I have a feeling that the reason I am longing for her is that either 1) I have any unfinished business with her, 0r 2) I just want to be with her kind of feeling (the yucky cheesy feeling you get in most romantic movies). But Acor did have a point there when she said that I need to distance myself from Jan first. Considering I felt a bit too close to her last year, after doing these things for her (ESPECIALLY the red rose during the eve of Valentine's day).

I really don't know how to explain the love, desire, affection, and sentimental feeling I have been encountering lately. It's just probably me in a different state.

How a spark became fire

In light of the ongoing events of what is currently happening to the Ted Failon case, I have some things to point out.

1) Inconsistency. The primary problem here is the mere fact that all the evidences pointing to the crime are simply not connecting to each other. Ted said that he rushed home after his Radio program and saw the body of his wife bathing in blood. The police think that Ted went back home and supposedly shot his wife in the head, wiping off the bloodstains with the help of their helpers and drivers. Also, what the police did not consider is the fact that the wife was brought to the hospital, which should explain something significant.

2) All about the fame. For crying out loud, the Ted Failon case is like any other suicide / murder case out there. The only difference? Ted Failon's famous, and we all know what the media would usually like to selfishly present to its audience, and that is the "woah Ted just killed his wifey OMFG" issue. Nasa pera lang iyan. Where there is a lot of money, that's where the media goes. And I bet a million pesos that there would not be such a diverse publicity if it the crime involve some poor Filipino who killed his wife because of financial problems.

3) The politics. I've been hearing stuff that the supposed motive of Ted killing his wife is because Ted was making ligaw (sorry for the conyo-way of writing) to Korina, who we all know is the fiance of Presidential candidate Mar Roxas. And what does that tell us? Most probably it is GMA putting all the dirt and controversies straight into Mar's face so that he would not win in the upcoming 2010 elections. Again, it is dirty politics playing a role in the world of Philippine politics. Even if we know of Mar's honesty and integrity, it just happens that he has haters out there who are willing to do anything just to stop him from getting a significant position in the government. And again, it's all about the corruption that is going through an endless cycle within our Philippine politics, where people would go through the shortcut of things and step over other people in order to gain their selfish desires.

4) Reign of the outlaw. The maids, the driver, and relatives of the Failons were arrested by the police, dragged away from their homes, without any warrant to them. What do you call that? Where is the law then if the lawmakers themselves are the outlaws. This is not far and different from the shooting incident at EDSA a couple of weeks ago, where policemen shot down suspected car nappers down to the bone (meaning shooting them down until they are sure that the supposed car nappers are dead). What does this tell us about our police officers? One of my classmate commented the corrupt spending of the PNP, where they would scrimp on gear used for getting evidence (ie. cameras for use in photographing evidences) and spend a lot on unnecessary and excessive stuff (ie. gas for the patrol cars who you would rarely see roving around the metropolis). Also add to the fact that they are the ones involve with red tape and stuff like that, it comes to a point that we would even doubt our Police system here in the Philippines.

It's a sad story, but at the same time an annoying one. How can we expect significant changes if such corrupt acts are not tolerated? How can we be sure that justice is given fairly? How can we ensure the honesty and integrity of not just the police officers and officials involved in the case? A lot of questions can be asked about this single case.

Let's just hope justice is FAIRLY served.

How one day makes a difference

Yesterday was a Good Friday, and yesterday was indeed different. 

Yesterday, I didn't use the computer, didn't surf the internet, didn't listen to my iPod, didn't eat my favorite foods (chips, chocolates, etc), and didn't eat meat (for obvious reasons I don't need to explain). There were a more things I didn't do, but these are all I could ever remember. 

In the morning, me and my family went to Church to do Via Crucis, then confession, then prayed the rosary. As we went home, I would either read something or sleep or walk outside. 

I never imagined a day to be like this, free of any "temptations" whatsoever. I felt that it was another first for me to make an effort on this sacred day. After all, this year is indeed a year of firsts (First serious valentine's day, first girl I encountered to be a "like" and not a "crush", first experience of rejection, first set of D's, first set of projects garnering A's, first experience of a F as a prefinal grade, first subject I got an A in the final grade, first serious Good Friday, and many more). Maybe this year would be life-changing, in one way or another. 

Today, my dad handed me over this book that he thinks I could read it in just a day. Should I take the challenge?

Maybe so. It might be another first for me.

Oh Lord, why?

Finally, the last two grades that I have been waiting for arrived. One good, and one bad.

For the good, I got A commendable B+ with PoS61 under RR, and the bad news? A D in th121 under the great Aguas, which translates to two Ds for this semester.

And how that translates into myself? I get slapped figuratively, one in the left, and one in the right. Even if I am thankful enough that I didn't fail any subject for this semester, but it is a big pain for me to carry two Ds to my performance. Am I that horrible? Am I inferior? Am I too lax? Am I WHAT?

So much that I want to forget about this, I still couldn't get over the whole scene. Even with a commendable QPI still (a 2.5 flat), it is still 1) My lowest EVER, 2) Has 2 D's, and 3) The horror is intense.

As of this writing, I am having a hard time dealing with the situation, with the hopes of calling the Theology Department to be clarified on certain manners.

The horror of second year second semester: how I wish it could be erased into my memory. But it cannot be the case after all. Such leaves a permanent mark on my reputation, which I have to redefine come Third Year 1st semester. 

And I got slapped hard, figuratively.

Upon checking out my grades in AISIS at 1am today, I was slapped right in my face upon seeing this letter to one of my subjects: 

D

@$!@$#!~# Qualitative Research in Political Science (PoS53). Because of you, you literally stained my academic record that will last a lifetime.

Even if I got an A in Sci10 (got exempted in the exam, yay), a B in Spanish1 (got it raised up from a C+, also yay), and a C+ in Psych101 (which went down from a B because of finals, boo), I am left with these symbols:

*

Theo121 and Contemporary Political Theory (PoS61), where are the grades? Please don't kill me from the suspense. I don't want to hear a D or worse, an F with both of you. I'm wishing for a C / C+ mark from the both of you (yes, I swear, I exerted a lot of effort to save these subjects of mine from disaster).

So far, this has to be the worst semester I have had. From a above average performance during my first semester comes a borderline performance for the second semester. Oh boy, what happened to me. And it's not just the academics. Even my org works, my writing skills, and photo skills were worse than so-so. Second semester has been a disaster for me. Or maybe not.

Thank God my parents aren't mad at me (since I managed to pass my subjects), but my dad in particular told me to stop comparing myself to others, which may be among one of the many reasons that contributed to this downfall. Maybe I should start act upon myself, and not look at others. I am the one who defines myself, not them.

Even with a roughly below 2.5 QPI (my worst), I guess there are some good memories to remember about second semester, like how I went up to Jan to give her a red rose on the eve of Valentine's day. Or my initiative to run for Editorial Board (which I failed in the end). Or my attitude towards the opposite sex, as I am comfortable speaking and being with them. Second semester may be a disaster, but not a total disaster.

Off topic: 

Things to buy for the summer:

1) A new battery for my SLR. The generic one I got is screwing up on me, so I have placed my order on a genuine one, which I'll wait for around two weeks and me shelling out almost 3k. Great.

2) Lens cap for the 28mm. I don't like the generic one; I want the OEM one placed on it. But is 275 bucks expensive for a cap? I'd better go bargain-shopping in Quiapo one of these days.

3) These pair of Nike Dunk lows I saw in Trinoma a while ago:

I want to have them as a birthday present :D It doesn't cost much (It sells at around 3.7k at Nike sportswear in Trinoma or in Shoe Salon in Trinoma as well), and if ever you are buying me one, remember that I am size 11. Haha. As if someone would give me one as a gift, but who knows. 

4) This Nike Shirt to complement the Dunks: 

Pardon me but even if I am more of an Adidas fan, I seem to like the Nike sportswear line recently. As for the shirt, it's not that expensive as well (costing roughly 900 bucks) and if you are getting me one, my size is XL :P Any color would do (although I like this color to match the shoes), as long as the print on the front is evident :P (Where to get this? Refer to number 3 minus Shoe Salon)

I will spend for the first two, I can manage to get the fourth one, but the third one needs to wait. Any other means of getting money? I want to have a summer job, seriously. 

Going back to the main topic of this blog:

All I could say in the end are these:

1) Failure is not total failure at all.

2) You can do better next time.

3) Think of this as a motivation to do better.

Hopeless romantic?

According to google, hopeless romantic means (from the Urban dictionary):

"This person is in love with love.They believe in fairy tales and love."

 and

"[A]re idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them.They often live with rose colored glasses on.They make lovelook like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone."

and

"A person who daydreams about romantic occasions and dreams of chances where he/she will be able to perform a romantic act to their love, yet never gets the chance to."

Funny thing I know. To think I could somehow relate to these definitions of being one. I try to search all over to find the right person, yet it seems for me that the person I would fall in love with is an idealistic one that seemed to rarely exist (not "non-existing" as I found someone who was close to the girl I ideally like). Maybe it's not the time for me to totally fall in love, because even up to now, I seem to hate movies with overly cheesy scenes and passionate scenes; they make me feel that they are baduy, but at the same, paradoxical time, I myself tend to be cheesy at times. They're so contradicting, I know, but let's live with it. maybe one day, that girl will appear to me and would create a happy ending story for me (which, for reality's sake, does not really exist).

Going to other matters:

1) Grades will be up pretty soon, like around two hours. I know that I will be able to pass all of my subjects, but I am praying dearly that my lowest grade would be a C and not a D.

2) It seems I have to buy a new battery for my camera. The generic one just sucks; I've used it for a year and it gets drained easily. It pays to buy the original one, even if the price is skyscraper high.

3) I want to go out and take some photos. Or better yet, find some opportunities for me to hone my photo skills.

4) For some reason, I am motivated to do exercise, starting yesterday. Yoga, weights, jogging, crunches, here we come!

5) Time to spill my blind items that are org-related:

a) *** - she used to be my co-staffer, and she is part of the Editorial Board. Known to be a "mommy figure" to the guys with her charm, beauty, and wits.

b) ***** - she's the girl who has cute cheeks and a bit shy. A staffer from the writing cluster, she's an approachable girl, even if she rarely talks. 

c) ******* - she's paradoxical as even if she's part of the Editorial board (with blind item a), she looks and speaks like a cute high school girl who frenzies on anything that's cute.

Almost everyone knows blind item a, but only a few know about blind items b and c. Do you know them?