The anniversary post

It has been a year (exactly) since I started blogging here. Same principles, same rules still remain: the fact that I do not like celebrating my birthday in a grand / lavish way. In fact, I will celebrate my birthday later with only my family and close relatives later at cafe de Chine (same place as last year). I got simple gifts, like money from my tita (since she wasn't able to find the hard drive I ask her to find), and this nice keychain from Hong Kong Disneyland (of which I was suppose to go there, but got cancelled :( ), and some yummy dessert from my other tita. Just like last year, it's just a simple celebration for me.

One might be asking me how come I am not a fan of celebrating my birthdays lavishly, and my answer is simple. It's just I don't believe in the "be rich today, and be poor tomorrow" syndrome. You know, the kind when you would spend like there's tomorrow on one day, and on the next day you live like a pauper. I don't like that way of living; that's why I prefer to have simple birthday celebrations.

Also for today, my lolo was able to get me something I really want for a long while. A Canon L lens. Those red lined, professional level lenses you'd typically see in photoshoots (the professional ones). I got one today, to be specific, a 16-35 2.8L. Because of that, I sold my old kit lens in exchange for that. Now I'm on the way to pursue my dreams of photography. Add to this, now I don't need to wonder on why this particular lens is the golden standard for photojournalism (next to the other 2.8 zooms, the 24-70 and the 70-200), especially with photographers for various newspapers. And yes, the L fever has finally sunk into my veins. Now all I want is just to use this lens ALL of the time.

A year of blogging has passed, and another year is on the way. Let's hope I get to be under the great Roque Ferriols for my Philosophy classes.

And yes, work officially starts tomorrow.

Clock check.

As of this writing, it is an hour and a half to go before I finally turn 19 years old. You heard it, it will be my last teen year, and there's no going back.

So, what was summer for me this time?

Summer was all about . . .

tigers

zoos

animals

photographs

shirts

shoes

parties

girls

BFFs

fashion

love

intimacy

political

scandalous

money

vacations

rain

sun

uphill

downhill

shores

sand

alcohol

family

reminisce

internet

chairs

Adidas

Nike

Zx700s

Superstars

Funk

Rock

Senti

Reflection

Rants

time

mints

dalmatians

air

water

fire

pens

pencils

art

stories

...and so much more. So much for summer 2009. Junior Year, here I come.

A balance between the two

I remember back in high school that I would always wish I wouldn't be afraid of interacting with the opposite sex all because of the thing called katorpehan. Back then, I would be a tad too hesitant to talk to girls for a reason I couldn't explain even by myself.

But however, as I am in college life, I wish something different: that I should learn not to be too open on things especially crushes and likes. As being one-of-the-girls playing a major factor on this, I have learned that by being too open, I immerse myself to danger more than when I am in my more naive state.

I'm not saying that I want to be all torpe again; it's just I need to have a balance between being open and being disclosed from the public.

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Our politicians presently pisses me off big time. Take the case of Senator Bong Revilla. For me, he is the epitome of a fucking hypocritical bastard. He criticizes people for making sex scandals, that it is immoral and all that shit, and yet he himself is also like that! I bet a million pesos that Bong Revilla has a lot more sex scandals than Hayden Kho. Kung tatay nga niya babaero, pati din siya babaero rin ah.

And when it comes to sex scandals, I honestly don't show any pity for Katrina Halilli. Just like the Nicole rape case, it just shows that Katrina is point blank a whore. Like c'mon, who on earth would say that she enjoyed the video of her dancing in underwear and at the next perspective gets angry over Hayden videotaping her during her intimate and pleasurable encounter with Hayden (which, by the way, has recent news that Katrina "drugged" Hayden and that she had consent of the video).

It's not that I am such a sexist on this topic, but honestly, there comes a point when we are protecting the women too much that we fail to realize that its the woman who is doing the crime and the immoral act, not the man.

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And speaking of good news, I am proud and happy that the bill on taxing imported books has been rejected for good. Only thing is that the media is a whore for scandalous and negative stuff. Why not focus on good news like these instead of bullshit crap like the Halilli-Kho controversy? Honestly, I don't think there's any political relevance to these sex scandals; it's just a sign that people are simply morons. They know that doing such can cause a commotion, and yet they still do it, all for the craving for attention.

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All of the sudden, I start to feel again the effects of not being a News writer anymore. Now, I am so out-to-date of the latest happenings, both within the Ateneo and outside Ateneo. As much as I want to write and do this, I guess there's a need to move on.

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I've been going to events and parties a lot, that my resistance is getting low. Gotta get some rest so that I am all game when I turn 19 years old soon.

And yes, getting older in four days. Ugh. So much for the arrival of my last teen year.

A neophyte's experience on Subic bay

I may be well-rounded in terms of international destinations, having been to the west and east coast of the United States, to France, to Italy, to Switzerland, to London, to Austria, to Belgium, to Singapore, and to Hong Kong, yet when it comes to local destinations, I may be lacking a lot, being only able to visit Baguio, Clark, Bohol, Cebu, Tagaytay, and all nearby provinces along Luzon.

So for a change, since our China trip got cancelled, we decided to go to Subic. Good choice, considering it will be my first time to visit the place.

The trip from Manila to Subic was quite fast and efficient, thanks to SCTEX. The new highway was impressive; save for the lack of gas stations and stopovers, Subic-Clark-Tarlac-Expressway was designed just like a highway in America. I'm impressed at President Ramos' foresight on this (Trivia: GMA just finished and opened SCTEX to the public, but the whole idea came from Ramos). It was a smooth ride, it is so tempting to bring a sportscar and floor the gas to 200+km/h (too bad, there's a 100km/h speed limit but knowing Filipinos, they'll always break rules)

Arriving from Subic, we made an accidental turn, which led us to go to Zoobic first before checking in Hotel Venezia, but it was a good mistake. After 30 minutes of nothing but abandoned military places and forestry, we have arrived to Zoobic.

For such a zoo, they must have the most number of tigers I have seen in my life. Taking care of 34 Siberian-Bengal Tigers is no joke, and what amazes me is that despite these animals are suppose to be wild, the people in Zoobic were able to domesticate them such that even with their sheer sizes, they would manage to remain friendly to the people (and also, being good followers to their respective trainers). They even have tiger cubs who are nice and friendly to people. And yes, they are considered to be a tiger reserve; they don't declaw the tigers, and they have a place that resembles a typical tiger's environment (Trivia: did you know Chavit Singson's tiger came from here? ;) ). Aside from the tigers, they also have an ostrich farm, a sheep and goat farm, a couple of camels, emus, the coveted civet cat, and a lion, among the few animals present there.

For the price (I'm guessing around 2k all in all, which includes 5 of us, feeding the goats, and feeding the tigers), it was definitely worth it. For me, the highlight of this place is that you get to see how tigers are fed, and I bet that no other zoo around the world has done that. Yet.

After Zoobic, we went to Cubi point, and I saw the whole Subic from atop. interesting photo op. While there, me and my dad also saw what happens to be the remains of a fallen aircraft, of which gave interest to me.

Then, we visited the beaches around there, and then went to Venezia to check in. The hotel itself is quite impressive for me. the amenities were adequate, the room is big enough, and the bed's good. It's a good hotel I tell you (Trivia: When we were having a conversation with the owner of the hotel, he said that most of the furniture used in the hotel came from the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas . . . yes this hotel is that big time in a sense).

After taking a break at the hotel, we were off to Freeport exchange to shop for food. Boy, stuff here is cheaper than when you buy them in Manila (well one is because of the fact that Subic is a freeport zone). Then we went off to boardwalk to take a stroll, and had dinner at Meat plus. Boy, at meat plus, I had the biggest serving of ice cream (imagine the heaven: 3 big scoops of vanilla ice cream plus whipped cream plus oreos plus two wafer sticks, plus hot fudge chocolate, plus chocolate sprinkles . . . YUMMY), and the food there was good (I liked their steak and lechon kawali). After that, we went back to the hotel and slept, calling it a day.

The next day, we woke up early to have an early morning beach trip to Dungaree beach (Trivia: the last time I have been in the beach was 2005 in Bohol). Stayed there until 8am then went back to have breakfast and some shopping. Man, the goods in Subic are real cheap. Limited edition Nike Air Force Ones (costing 8K) sold for 3.2K, Adidas ZX700s (which usually costs 3.7k) for 2.4k, Adidas Superstars (in custom versions, usually costing 4-5k), being sold for 2.7k, Adidas Jackets (costing 3.5k), being sold for 2k, and Nike hi-cut Dunks (usually sold at 6-7k) being sold for 3k . . . boy Subic can be a shopping haven. Too bad I bought already a pair of adidas ZX700s already, so I ended up buying an Adidas originals polo shirt for 1.7k (original price is at 2.8k . . . just as expensive as my Abercrombie polo shirt I bought 2 years ago).

After all of the shopping, we went back home, having a positive impression about Subic. If I were to be asked, with the new roads and all, I would go to Subic more often than to Tagaytay. Among the many things I like about Subic is on how nice the people are there, on how the roads are so smooth and wide (just like typical American roads), and on how Senator Richard Gordon was able to promote the place to be a tourist destination. Overall I'd give Subic an 9/10.

An irony of ironies.

After telling myself on being inspiration-less, motivation-less, and love-less, here I come with a sudden spark of a source of motivation, inspiration, and also someone to really love. The real irony? I was searching for such, only to end up that source of motivation and inspiration and admiration happens to come from my morning table barkada, which only after 10 months I have realized that I liked her. The catch? Well she's the ex of one of my high school friends, and being the respectful guy I am, it is a dilemma for me to whether get to know the girl more or back off. Good thing is that when me and my high school friend concerned talked about it, he's fine with it. After all, we had an agreement before that I take good care of her (back when they used to be a couple, since my high school friend studies in La Salle and not Ateneo).

So, does that mean I have a new girl to like now? Technically yes. Considering I am close to her (every morning, most of the time she's the first person I am with, next to Mark and AJ, and Bea and Gico, and Darrel). So yes I like her.

Incidentally, if you are curious on who she is, here are clues: 1) She's a CADSter (aka she dances), 2) Her course is MEco, but formerly MAC, and 3) She knows the H3 MEco people, and one of them is my sister figure Trisha Andaya.

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This weekend was a test on my limits. Last friday, I had a despedida party at Eastwood with one of my high school friends leaving for Australia, then I arrive home at around 1am. Last Saturday, I went "clubbing" at Bea's debut at Manor Basement (also in Eastwood), and went home at 1am as well. After three hours of sleep, I was up, as I went to a medical mission, which finished at 3pm. So yesterday, I was literally knocked out, given the abuse I did to my body and the lack of sleep. But surprisingly, I didn't get sick at all the abuse. That daily fresh juice I've been having is really improving my resistance.

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Today, me and my family went to D. Tuazon Elementary School for Brigada Eskwela. Looking at public schools, I was appreciative that even teachers and students help each other in the clean-up of the classrooms. However, what makes me sad about these kinds of schools is the lack of funding. Like hey there Philippine Government, why the hell are you wasting precious time on shit like Cha-cha, taxation of imported books, and campaigning, when you would not instead pour down your efforts on discouraging vices and improving the education system of our country?

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Speaking of the government, I am quite disappointed by the fact that these stupid officials (and I mean it) waste time on unnecessary shit in congress and not concentrate on helping those who really need the help. Cha-cha like who's going to give a shit about it but greedy corrupt politicians and monopolist tycoons.

Elections are coming near, and even if the Brigada Eskwela a while ago was an initiative of Mar Roxas (yes my Dad supports him, it does not mean I am for Mar all the way. As of now, I am undecided between Dick Gordon and him.

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Subic trip tomorrow. Not China / Hong Kong, but an out-of-town trip would do.

Discussing several matters on the go.

Thanks to some talking with the HBoys (Ludo, Iggy, Iconn, Quinito), Guidon friends (Pao M, Bea C, Jason, Martin), and a former UAAP Blue Eagles player (Jobe), I've just come to understand that sometimes there's a need for people hating you. in other words, haters. Yes, I do have quite a few right now, especially with the news of me not being in Guidon anymore (but mind you, I'm not out, but I'm more of "restructuring" myself), with these people hitting me at my back. Thank God I have still good friends to back on, no matter how crazy they can be. At least I know I'm still socially superior compared to these sore weak cowards who can only just hit me at my back.

Quoting from my former News Editor and first Mommy Figure Ayee,

"Kung may problema ka, harapin mo ako".

Quoting from Katt Williams, which I lifted from Iconn's blog on haters,

"So what if he/she keeps talking about you and hating on you. What do you think a haters job is? TO HATE. You NEED haters to make you stronger. Without haters, people would not try to become better. Just tell them YOU JUST HATE ME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE ME".

That's definitely true. With the efforts I made to make a reputation now, I know that amidst the people admiring me for my accomplishments, there will always be those who are envious about me. Now that's life that we are talking about.

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Thanks to my recent rebirth of my obsession for shoes, I bought another pair of Adidas shoes last Thursday, less than four months after buying my last pair last Christmas (with Acor, Nichael, and Jan). This time around, I went on buying because of Adidas' promo of trading your old shoes and getting a 1000 pesos off your next shoe. I traded my old CAT shoes (which I haven't been using in a while) for a pair of Adidas ZX 700s (that is called "Blue Jelly" as mentioned on Sneaker Freaker's website). After two years in the waiting, I was able to get a hand on these Adidas ZX shoes, considering I've been constantly asking people at Adidas stores on when they will finally sell them to the Philippines. Apparently, they are now being sold and I saw some people wearing them as well. A equivalent to Nike's Air Max 90, the ZX is essentially a running shoe that has transformed into shoes used for fashion.

Although I didn't get a pair of Dunks this time again, I decide not to get one at all as a lot of people are wearing them already while I only know a few wearing ZXs. So I go for the latter, and yes, I am an Adidas Originals fan.

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Yesterday was Duke's despedida, as he will be migrating for good to Australia, together with his parents there. Some HBoys were there, and so are the SHS Girls (comprising of Ash, Dai, Kaila, Dom, Lirei, Lara, etc. etc.). It has been a while since I last met them (probably 4th year high school), and it is fun seeing them again.

We had this game of spinning the bottle, where we are supposed to have a picture with the person we like when the bottle points at us. Being the obvious person I was, I decided to have a picture with Dai, one of my former crushes. It's funny, however, that I was no longer the shy person I was when it comes to crushes. Now my attitude is more of I-have-a-crush-on-you-and-so-what way and I don't make a big deal out of it anymore. Maybe it's a sign of me being more mature.

And even if I was united with one of my former crushes, my heart still longs for Jan. Enough said.

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As a compensation for our cancelled trip to China, our family has planned to go to Subic instead for vacation. It's a relief, considering my summer would not be that wasted after all, and that it will be my first time to visit Subic (I suck at local destinations, I know).

So for our trip there, I'm quite excited to visit Ocean Adventure and play with the dolphins and the seals.

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With a crappy random number, I am quite worried about online enlistment on June 5. I have a 80/20 odds of attaining my Ferriols-Habana dream teachers with a number like 395 and on the 3rd batch. I really pray and hope hat I get Fr. Ferriols as my Philosophy teacher, so that I can finally get a taste of 1) the REAL Jesuit education, and 2) being trained under a Legendary professor in the Ateneo.

A sad realization today.

I wanted to go to the ANC President's forum in preparation for the 2010 elections, held at Ateneo today. I was invited by my mother figure / Former news editor Ayee Macaraig to join, but I couldn't because I just arrived from Baguio (with the travel lag).

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While watching a portion of the show, I came to some of these observations from the people present:

1) Mar Roxas - ok I do support him (just like my dad does), but it's annoying in the sense that practically everyone in the audience is applauding for him. Very biased audience, I know. Plus I notice that some (if not all) of his answers were more of bola, so to speak.

2) Gilbert Teodoro - being allied with GMA, he's plastic in the sense that he keeps on praising GMA, especially with the unemployment and GDP growth. Honestly, it's bullshit man; as if the whole Philippine population would give a damn about it. Maybe 5% of the richest people would, but not the other 95%.

3) Chiz Escudero - opposite from that of Teodoro, it is very evident of him that he is anti-GMA, but I do like the way he answered Tina Muñoz-Palma's question about GMA's contribution. The way Chiz answered it, and I quote part of it, "minulat tayo sa isang katotohanan . . ." was such a good delivery. That's my personal opinion though.

4) Ed Panlilio - so much that people want this priest to run for president, I wasn't really that convinced with him. And for a priest like him, he should better check his grammar. Not that I am a person with perfect grammar, but for someone like him who has delivered hundreds of homilies, and the fact that you have to be good before you become a priest, I guess he has potential, but he needs to be more specific on what is he talking about. Paikot-ikot siya.   

5) Richard Gordon - the most neutral of all five. What I like about Gordon is that even if he is part of the administration, he still manages to point out the flaws of GMA, which shows a very good indication of a neutral person who is for the Administration and yet points out some points for improvement towards the next president (unlike Teodoro, with all his "I praise GMA" crap).

So who's my pick? Given that Gordon's running, I would really prefer him to run for president. As for the others, well they have to improve on aspects of neutrality, straight to the point answers, and better dialogue deliveries.

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While watching the forum on TV, I saw some of my friends, like my PolSci Batchmates, Mommy Ayee, and Guidoneers Bea Mandac (covering the event in print), and Jason Mariposa (covering the event in photos). Sad to say, I came to realize that I couldn't do that much intense news writing anymore. I came across Bea's gameplan, and boy, I doubt if I can do it, especially if I have academic stuff to my side. True, News has to be the most prestigious, but I wouldn't be able to cope up with the stress. Sad to say, I can't come back to News, based on my personal assessment as of now.

But still, I think I can instead do photos, now with my involvement with an unaccredited photo organization, plus my possible transfer of committee from writing for the magazine of our home organization to being part of the documentation committee. As much as I love to write, interview people, and do research, I don't think I can do all of this anymore. But nonetheless, I will still find a way to get myself to write again, and go back to the same intense pacing I got used to.

For now, I will concentrate on photos, being a dream come true. As the dream has arrived, its time to make the most out of it. 

Moving on to a new perspective

First things first, happy mothers day to all the Mothers out there (including my own mother and my mommy figures such as Acor, Ayee, and AnnaBee). I wish you to enjoy on this special day dedicated for you. And for the kids, don't forget to be nice to you mothers, alright?

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So my stay in Baguio has come to an end. By tomorrow, I shall be leaving this wonderful place, despite being here when it was signal number 3, which made me feel worried. Nonetheless, I was able to somewhat find the missing pieces in myself, and with that I have decided one thing: that I will stop writing for now. 

I'll give a one year hiatus for writing articles, given the bad performance I have shown during the summer recruitment. My parents and grandparents were surprised by the fact that while I will not write for now, I plan to reapply for this year, this time in photos. At first my dad and grandfather were against it, saying that I get to learn more from writing than from taking pictures. But I still manage to convince them about going into photos for this year.

So, one may ask why I am joining photos for this year, and I have my reasons for it:

1) Photos was my first choice (emphasis on first) when I was applying for Guidon the first time. News was my second choice, but I ended up going to News because I did not do the requirements for photos.

2) I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish the requirements for photos. I have failed in this for three times, and I am not letting a fourth one come along.

3) I see myself having some sort of potential in this field, and since I was doing a lot of this during the summer, maybe I should put it to practice for once.

4) I am aiming to make this year legendary for me, and I think I can do this with photos (and doing my best to have an award in photojournalism . . . why not?)

5) I need to re-explore my news writing skills, and a year of not being into that should be enough for me to be prepared before I would come back (possibly) as a writer.

6) Photography has been my dream since high school, but it was only until I was in college that I get to fulfill this dream. Now the dream has arrived, I have to make the most out of it.

But don't mistake my decision as formally quitting News writing. Like what my partner-in-crime Jem Rosario said, there's a need for a break. I would still write, but not now. Maybe next year on sometime in the future.

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Thanks to a friend of mine who's involved with RegCom, I was able to know my random number quite early. Yet knowing my random number gave me bad news. Being in the third batch gave me a lot of worries, and I mean A LOT. I am after two legendary teachers (namely The Padre Roque and Ambeth Ocampo), but with such random number, my odds for getting them as my teachers has greatly decreased. Now I am praying hard to God that I could get AT LEAST Padre Roque for Philosophy. I don't care if his classes start at 7:30am (I arrive in school at 6:30am anyway), or if he's really old (Padre Roque's around 80+ years old), or if his lectures are in Filipino (I understand Filipino well, excuse me). Being under his only class is a must; I want to be under at least one of the old legendary professors in the Ateneo, and being under Padre Roque is my major personal requirement.

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After Baguio, I was suppose to be going to a trip to China and Hong Kong with my family. Unfortunately, thanks to H1N1 / Swine Flu and a couple of typhoons, our trip's cancelled. It's sad, but it's better to play safe. I don't want to end up staying in a hotel for 40 days just because I have to be quarantined.  Being quarantined will definitely spoil the fun, so just cancel it. Besides, I've got a couple of parties to attend to compensate for the trip cancellation.

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Since the trip is cancelled, that means no shopping for me. Yet, I was interested at Adidas' promo of trading off your old shoes in exchange for a 1000 peso discount on the purchase of a new shoe. That got me interested considering I could trade in my old white Superstars for a new pair, with an approximately 30% discount (yes, I computed the savings). Not bad eh. So I'll be going to one of the Adidas' stores this week (at the most, before the end of the promo, which is on May 17).

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Speaking of love life, well that aspect is nothing but bland and boring for me. The only recent thing about this is when I asked Jan if she's working now or not yet. She said she's taking a break. That's all. Nothing really interesting.

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It's 19 days before my last year as a teenage kid. Wow I'm getting old already. As my last year as a teenage kid, I have this personal motto for this year:

"Make a statement, leave a legacy, be your best."

Let's hope my Junior year would be legendary, to my standards.

Crumbling down and the need for a break.

Apparently, the disaster had spurred up a chain of reactions that well . . . got me down to the bone.

Sometimes (or should I say always), I regret the mistakes and decisions I have made during last semester. Frankly speaking, some reasons for the disaster last semester are the following:

1) Slacking off too much because of my schedule,

2) Placing myself in a place I should not be in the first place,

3) Offending people (in both intentional and unintentional ways),

4) Getting too distracted with a certain someone, and

5) Burnout

Well my friend Jem Rosario was right. I guess I need a break from all of this. As of now, I am missing that same aura I had before. It's like it vanished into thin air, losing my desire for things.

Like what I placed in my Facebook sometime before, I am indeed inspiration-less, motivation-less, and love-less. I lost everything not just in one blow (like the Pacquiao-Hatton Fight during round 2, where our pride prove to us that he is indeed the best pound-for-pound boxer alive), but in several, avoidable blows that I failed to avoid.

To everyone out there, I'm sorry for all of the mess I have probably made, regardless of if you are involved or not. For all of this, I have to pay the price of my mediocrity.

But it's not yet the end though. I just need to find myself again. My mind's lost somewhere, and I have to find back my ground. Once again.

I have to get back at myself, because honestly, I am not at myself. There's some missing pieces that I have to find to get myself back from the game.

For now, I'll start my search with a vacation here in Baguio.