One of those night conversations with the boys.

Yesterday, I went to the birthday party of my friend's (or in tagalog, kabarkada) girlfriend, together with the other HBoys as well. There was lots of talking, eating, and drinking (alcohol included) yesterday night. We talked about various things, like high school memories, college lives, girls, and many other topics. It was a pleasant night of bonding with my high school friends, the HBoys, to get updated with the latest stories.

Until they asked about one of those topics I am peeved at talking about, which happens to be relationships.

But this kind of peeved state of mine does not root down because of the fact that most of my High school friends have girlfriends already (yes, I did come from an all-boys school that's why) but because after telling them two girls which I like, they were pressuring me to court either the two of them.

Fine, I may be undecided on whether I should commit myself to Carebear or to Turtle (I guess you might know who they are), but seriously, I have no intentions of courting either the two of them. No effin' way.

And when my classmate suggested to me that instead of saving my money for camera expenses, that I should spend it on THAT thing, I got a bit more peeved. No offense, but that's not my thing.

And yes, I doubt if I would court either the two of them, given that they have something in common (that is, both of them used to be in a relationship). The only close possible reason that I would court them (which is very unlikely of me) is the very fact that both of them were previously in a relationship, of which gives me this perception that they are mature in one way or another. Other than that, I can't seem to think any other reason on why I should go court them (save for Turtle's occasional cheesy moments and Carebear's very approachable nature).

I'm still undecided, and I want to remain this way. In short, I want to be a non-conformist, for once.

The thing called "lens lust" and about commitment issues.

I still remember Tata Yap, a good friend of mine and a well-seasoned photographer, on telling me about shopping for lenses. "Kapag bumili ka ng isa, hindi na iyan titigil," she told me back in first year when my DSLR was new and I was brushing up my photography skills to new levels.

Apparently, what she said was true. Buying one lens will NOT stop you from trying (or acquiring) more lenses.

So let's go back to a history of this fever called "lens lust"

-January of 2008, I bought a basic telezoom (a Sigma 55-200) to supplement my needs for a longer range

-November of 2008, I bought a 50mm 1.8 (the old school, early EOS era version) for the need of a good low-light lens, and fell in love with it

-March of 2009, I bought a 28mm 2.8, thinking that the 50mm's too close for me

-May of 2009, I was given my first L glass, in the form of a used, beat down (but optically superb) 16-35 2.8, which led me to sell my kit lens (the 18-55 lens you get when you buy a new DSLR kit) and the 28mm 2.8 (which, after 2 months, made me realize at some point that it was a "useless" purchase on my part)

-Then come around November 2009, I'll be getting my hands on a 70-200 2.8 Sigma (which will lead me to selling the old telezoom I currently have)

Aside from these said lenses, I have tried and tested numerous lenses as well, like Canon's 70-200 variants (the 2.8 and the 4 IS versions), an 85mm 1.8, a 100mm 2.8 macro, a 10-22 ultrawide, a 18-50 2.8 Sigma, and so on and so forth.

So the point? Well there are indeed hundreds of different lenses out there that you either 1) want to try out, or 2) buy them, but in the end, you would only make use of around 1-3 of them (my all-around lens for the moment is my 16-35 L, which makes wonders to around 65% of my shoots). The sickness of lens lust is what makes most photographer have the tendency to own a lot of lenses (or the want to own a lot), yet at the end remain undecided on which lens will benefit them from their field of specialty the most.

____________________________________________________________________________

But anyways, what made me suddenly do some camera talking and the thing behind lens lusting? Well I have just thought of creating this analogy with regards to girls. Yes, them pretty girls.

One of the many reasons why I still do not like to commit myself to a relationship yet is because I myself is not sure of which girl do I like to spend my life with. College life alone, I have made encounters with a lot of pretty girls, yet I am still left undecided. Just a flashback:

First year: I liked this English blockmate of mine a lot, only to find out that she was taken (of which she and her BF became my classmates for two history subjects)

Second year: First, I was in an in-denial stage of me liking one of my co-workers in a publication I used to work for, then eventually, come second semester, I have admitted to her on how much I liked her.

Second year: Also, I came across to an ex-crush of mine back in high school and upon seeing her again, this time in college, I fell in love with her for the second time, as she became prettier.

Second year: At a friend's debut I have attended, there was this girl who was introduced to me that was pretty and cute for me (no, not the drop-dead gorgeous kind, but the kind that has this certain "appeal"). At first, I find her ordinary, but later on during third year, I started to like her (given the fact that A LOT of guys do like her)

Summer before third year: With both of us drunk, I confessed to a close friend of mine that I like her ex. A couple of days later, he got really pissed at me, that it took us weeks before we reconciled with each other.

Third year: There was this girl, whom I did a photoshoot with (a dance related one, to be specific), that caught my eye for her absolute cuteness. Later on, I liked this girl for her "interactive" nature, and the more after those "unexpected" cheesy moments

So for the past three years, I've liked a lot of them, but these girls were the ones that really struck me the most. The problem? Like in choosing a lens for a camera, I am still undecided on who should I commit myself to.

This undecided nature of mine roots down to my belief that I would love a person no matter if she gets old, she gets sick, and all of the possible negative stuff you can possibly think. Frankly speaking, that's what I seem to hate about the relationships I've been seeing these days. Puro kasarapan. Puro kaligayahan. They seem to forget to address the little imperfections behind their relationships. Relationships these days, for me, are too ideal; people desire for the fairytale kind of relationship, complete with that happy-ever-after sequence. They seem to forget reality, that such can never happen.

I guess we can blame pop culture and media for such ideas. People forget to see reality and the pains behind it. no wonder a lot of marriages end up in divorce. No wonder some relationships don't really last long. Konting sablay lang, break na agad. And I don't like to be an idealist thinker but I want to be a realist thinker when it comes to this.

For me, I want to make myself sure of being committed in a relationship. I want to love someone not just because she's pretty, not just because she's nice and all, but because both of us know our flaws and that we are willing to fix them up to hone for a good, long lasting relationship.

I do hope that Herman Rochester, my Th131 professor of choice, can give me more enlightening answers regarding this.

The fastest enlistment I've ever had so far.

Leonardo T. Guison IV 3 AB PoS			71648
Schedule for 3rd Year, Second Semester
	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
7:00am
7:30am
8:00am
8:30am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
9:00am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
9:30am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
10:00am
10:30am
11:00am
11:30am	Th131		Th131		Th131
12:00nn	Th131	PoS194	Th131	PoS194	Th131
12:30pm	Th131	PoS194	Th131	PoS194	Th131
1:00pm		PoS194		PoS194
1:30pm	PoS131	PoS194 / Hi166	PoS131	PoS194 / Hi166	PoS131
2:00pm	PoS131	Hi166	PoS131	Hi166	PoS131
2:30pm	PoS131	Hi166	PoS131	Hi166	PoS131
3:00pm		Hi166		Hi166
3:30pm
4:00pm
4:30pm		PoS139
5:00pm		PoS139
5:30pm		PoS139
6:00pm		PoS139
6:30pm		PoS139
7:00pm		PoS139
7:30pm		PoS139
Ph101	Philosophy of the Human Person II				Agustin Rodriguez, Ph.D		CTC105
Th131	Marrage, Family life and Sexuality in a Catholic Perspective				Herman Rochester		B103
PoS131	International Political Economy				Carmel Abao, Ph.D		K303
PoS194	Comparative Politics				Ra�eses, Rene Raymond, Ma		CTC102
PoS139	Philippine Foreign Policy				Maria Ellisa Lao		Bel205
Hi166	Philippine History				Giron, Brian Paul		K203

First Batch magic worked with success! Was able to stick with my pre-planned schedule. SO HAPPY. :D :D :D

Classmates, anyone? :D

It was a sense of a great accomplishment. For my whole stay in the Ateneo (College and High School), I have been so frustrated by the fact that I would never go beyond the 3.0 mark in terms of my QPI. Most of the time, my grades (overall) would range between a 2.5 to a 2.95, but never a 3.0 or beyond.

Until this semester came.

A 3.25 is actually .1 behind from the prestigious Dean's List, but the fact that I was able to break the 3.0 barrier with my grades make me very happy and thus, giving me this sense of accomplishment, in one way or another. In spite of the events that practically distorted this semester (from the A(h1n1) virus to typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng), I was quite surprised that my grades were not bad. In fact, they were much much better than what I have expected.

This semester became an eye-opener for me, that it made me realize that sometimes we have to take the challenges around us, and that sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zones to accomplish greater things. Frankly speaking, this semester's quite heavy (with International Relations and some supposed difficulty with Eco and my struggles with Philo and Quantitative Research), and I was able to overcome the challenges, evident with the outcome of my grades. Thank you Lord for still believing in me. And thank you to my family and friends as well, who pushed me to go beyond.

And this I conclude first semester, 2009-2010. And from the events that have happened, may they become guides towards the next semester.

All for God's Greater Glory.

Was it really an accident?

I consider it as an accident for me to be part of the production staff of CADS, but at the recently concluded Days of Prayer, I realized on how some of these dancers from CADS, and so are the performers as well, welcomed me a lot.

Through this retreat, I found out some of the answers I was looking for during the times when I was in real bad vibes (and suddenly talked to mommy Cy about it). After all, it was about going back to my self-worth, purpose, and excellence in life. I realized that while for all of these time I was looking at the negative side of the fence, the retreat gave me an opportunity to see the other side of the fence. After all, mommy Cy and boss Nikki were right; although we can't really please everyone, people will appreciate it if you simply be yourself.

Evidence of this good side I have realized?

1) Some interesting notes I got from my paper last night (the activity where you have a paper at your back and you let people write stuff about you), such as:

"Thanks for being patient. Thanks for all the nice things!"
"Duey, you are very cute and really sweet. I'm glad I've met you this year <3"
"Hearthrob na ba? Kaya mo yan!"
"Easy lang sa mga girls . . . go slow man =)"
"Feeling magiging close tayo :P"

"Awesome Photog! :P and really nice!"

"Amazing photos and you are so friendly pa :)"

"super very easy to talk to. Very cooperative :P"

"Makulit, mabait, at masayahin"

2) One-on-ones with some of the CADS members, and some bonding time with PH, mommy Cy, Happy, Betsy, FF, Hanz, Hannah, Yogi, boss Nikki, Yoyo, Emil, Cooky and other CADS people at the tents, where I get to realize things that I do not know and they really appreciate about, as well as explaining my mistakes and how can I improve on myself.

3) mommy Cy, Sheens Siao, Nikki Puyat and Steph Verano's inspirational talks, where I was able to relate to them a lot. Their stories actually are, in one way or another, similar to things that are happening to me, and these girls Gives Me Hope (GMH in 'netspeak) on my present problems, seeking a positive approach towards life. Thanks girls, for those inspirational speeches.

Overall, it was a fun experience. It made me feel more comfortable about this new group to me called the Company of Ateneo Dancers.

126.

Sembreak has just started (well it has been four days since my body is into sembreak mode), but quite a number of people are starting to scout around for good teachers come enlistment day (that's October 28 for me and my batchmates). Luckily, I got a really decent random number (126 . . . which at first I thought was second batch only to find out it is first batch . . . speaking of having some luck), and unlike during first year, when batching doesn't matter as much as you are in junior or senior year, this gives me more flexibility in fixing my schedules and getting good professors (by good meaning not just A-able ones, but those who I consider to be really good). Assuming 1) I get to wake up before 7am on enlistment day, 2) The Internet does not screw up on me, and 3) AISIS wouldn't crash on me, like how it did on the past 3 enlistments I had, my supposed ideal schedule would look like this:

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
7:00am
7:30am
8:00am
8:30am
9:00am
9:30am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
10:00am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
10:30am	Ph101		Ph101		Ph101
11:00am
11:30am	Th131		Th131		Th131
12:00nn	Th131	PoS194	Th131	PoS194	Th131
12:30pm	Th131	PoS194	Th131	PoS194	Th131
1:00pm		PoS194		PoS194
1:30pm	PoS131	PoS194	PoS131	PoS194	PoS131
2:00pm	PoS131		PoS131		PoS131
2:30pm	PoS131		PoS131		PoS131
3:00pm		Hi166		Hi166
3:30pm		Hi166		Hi166
4:00pm		Hi166		Hi166
4:30pm		Hi166 / PoS139		Hi166
5:00pm		PoS139
5:30pm		PoS139
6:00pm		PoS139
6:30pm		PoS139
7:00pm		PoS139
7:30pm		PoS139

Normal classes (9:30am-2:30pm, with 1 hour breaks in between) for MWFs, Afternoon classes for TTH, and a night class for Tuesdays (12nn-4:30pm for Thursdays, 12nn-7:30pm for Tuesdays). Quite good except for the Tuesday part: 1) It's a night class (4:30pm-7:30pm), and 2) That means me running from SecC to Bellarmine in 10 minutes. But on the other hand, 1) At least it's not a Saturday class, and 2) The subject by itself is interesting (Yes, it's our PolSci Elective, and I am inclined to choose Philippine Foreign Policy for my elective)

Now for the teachers:

Ph102: Doc Guss will be my teacher once again for Philo. Same expectations, but I promise to do better the second time around, considering he is one awesome Department Chair / Philo Professor, even if his mode of language is in Tagalog. I also expect to learn more from him and deepen my Philosophical thoughts (which is very underdeveloped).

Th131: As much as I want to get Fr. Dacanay for this (and call it a suicide semester for the kicks), his only class conflicts with my Philo. Since I am in the first batch, I decided to go for Herman Rochester, a popular choice for most students taking up Th131. I've been hearing positive responses about him (from the likes of Mommy Cy and my sister Trisha), so I guess I should take him instead. Besides, the topic for 131 is for me, very interesting, which involves family life, sexuality, and marriage.

PoS194: Ah, the great RR Rañeses. Since we didn't have him (or maybe most of us PolSci majors) as our professor last semester, I felt that Political Science became a bit less exciting. That's one thing RR is best known for: He makes politics interesting. So with him in this subject, I am expecting intense paperworks, orals, and the occasional pile-high readings. Comparative Politics will certainly be the intense subject for the coming semester.

PoS131: At first, I was assuming that it will be Dr. Tolosa who will teach this subject, but as I checked my AISIS about it, Dr. Abao will be teaching the subject instead. Haven't heard that much about her (like how much I have heard about Dr. Tolosa), but the only thing I am more or less sure about her is that International Political Economy is her specialty. I hope I would do well in this subject, as I have occasional nosebleed issues with topics pertaining to economics.

PoS139: My Course elective of choice. Ms. Lao is said to be lenient and very A-able. Aside from that, the topic itself (Philippine Foreign Policy) interests me, but given a choice that Saturday Classes can be an option, I'd go for Sergio Andal's Philippine Administrative System as my Course Elective instead. Nonetheless, I am looking forward with my Course elective of choice.

Hi166: I am actually torn between taking Dr. Totanes or Dr. Hofileña for this subject, given the fact that both teachers have that "legendary" reputation at hand. But for my choice, I'd go for the more legendary professor, that is Dr. Totanes. I have heard really nice stories about him, and that he's as good as the great Ambeth Ocampo, so I am expecting a lot with my Histo next semester, should I decide to take Dr. Totanes for it (but if Ambeth Ocampo's teaching next semester . . . I shall take him instead).

8 days before enlistment. And I hope all goes well.

Single, but not available.

Typical relationship status(es) on social networks: SINGLE, IT'S COMPLICATED, IN A RELATIONSHIP

All (or maybe most) of us know what is it to be single, in a relationship, and it's complicated (the latter being used to create a lot of intrigue to other people, but doesn't really mean anything relevant), but this new term that I have learned from some of my friends from the opposite sex quite interest me. Look at it: you are single, meaning you are not taken or committed to anyone, yet you tag yourself as being not available, meaning you rather live with your single status. Sounds quite paradoxical, eh? It may sound like someone who does not like to have a BF / GF or someone who is "emotionally" committed to like someone.

Such term intrigues me a lot, since to a certain extent, I can relate to the feeling. Although such term would apply mostly to girls, I guess there are guys out there who are like this as well.

Someone who is single yet chooses to be single. It's not your typical oh-my-god-why-I-am-single-feeling we are talking about here. What we are talking about here is the kind of person that is not being frustrated at all on being single. The kind that is happy with his / her life. The kind that feels independent. The kind that looks life in a different perspective. The kind that undergoes extensive preparations for "that" moment.

I actually like the idea of being single but not available. It reduces the hustle and bustle of courting someone, or accepting someone's proposal. You just simply life your life like some happy-go-lucky person. And yes, I look up upon people who are like this (among them are some of my friends from the opposite sex).

My friend told me that there are a couple of reasons on why such kinds of people exist, but I'll emphasize on two main reasons.

1) "I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet"

-I tag this as the type 1 of the single but not available kind of person. Basically, this means that the person is not ready to be in relationship. That person may feel lacking in other aspects, such as being emotionally mature, or schoolwork, that's why a person who is a type 1 would not commit into a relationship. These are the kind of people who want to be well prepared before committing into one. Think of a father preparing enough money so that his children will grow up with good education and a well-off life. These kind of people are those who like to see a relationship as the summary of their achievements and accomplishments in life. They want to make sure that by the time they are into one, everything goes on well.

2) "I'm still waiting for Mr. / Ms. Right to come into my life"

-I tag this, on the other hand, as the type 2 of the single but not available kind of person. These are the kind of people who may have a lot of suitors, but constantly rejects them for the reason that they believe that their suitors are half-baked, in one aspect or another. They are the perfectionists; they want to make sure that their relationship is as perfect as possible, the kind that would be as close to the ideal relationship. They are for the ideal as they are scared of failures, just like when your typical Straight-A student commits a B+ to a subject. They are the ones who fear failure in a relationship. Hence, they will wait and wish for that Mr. / Ms. Right. They want to make sure that everything is perfect, or at the very least, as perfect as possible.

And there we have it. The two classical cases of the single-but-not-available type of person. So if you are single-but-not-available, what fits you best?

First few days of sembreak

So since Friday afternoon, I am officially ending my first semester of my third year life. The weirdest semester so far, I was sort of glad that it has ended (despite it's lack of closure . . . as final exams became "optional" due to the chain of events that have happened).

So far, I've been:

1) Maximizing the abilities of Photoshop (and Lightroom).

-Sure my Photoshop is quite outdated (I'm using CS3 while there is CS$ out in stores right now), but it is just now that I am starting to discover its potentials, being the "standard" application for photo editing and graphic designing. Lately, I have learned how to properly use curves, to watermark decently with photos, to use actions (that help a lot with post-processing a lot of photos), and creating panoramic photos (which I thank Kevin Ochoa for giving me a crash-course tutorial on it). As for Lightroom, it is just now that I start editing my photos that I find it useful, especially for quick adjustments to my photos, and renaming them in a more streamlined way (and avoiding the hassle of manually renaming every photo, one-by-one). Using both applications helped me in my progressing learning curve of editing photos. From a really slow 6 hours editing time for a mere 150 photos, to an average of 1 hour per 70 photos. Not bad, really.

And aside from such benefits, learning to streamline my post-processing of photos also helped me to lessen my chances of abusing my laptop (because with 2gb of ram, I guess that should be more than enough; I've known people who post-process with just less than 1gb of ram at hand and they do quite well). Hence, this learning experience on these two programs helped me maximize the use of my laptop for my everyday use (and yes, I don't have a desktop, so I better take good care of my laptop because if it screws up on me, I'm dead)

2) Making stories, comic-style.

-While cleaning up my laptop (ie. Deleting Vista and Parallels since 1) Parallels doesn't work with Snow Leopard, and 2) I'm done using the SPSS program, which is the main reason on why I had to put Windows), I stumbled upon this really old program in my laptop called Comic Life. In the three years of owning a MacBook, I have never opened that application until recently, and hey, it's one cool application. So what did I do afterwards? Make a story using it. So far, I've made one for MaxGroove and a really short one for my good friend Gico (which involves skateboarding). Like the one above, I'm still getting a good hang of it. But in fairness to an untouched program like this, it amazes me at times (just like the same feeling when you were amazed at the potentials of Windows Movie Maker back when XP was new and people were talking about it)

3) Done some DIY Camera repair.

Yes, my poor 400D has suffered a lot of battle scars - scratches to the body, fading, loosening rubber grips, a slightly cracked CF card door (of which I remedied it with tons of scotch tape), and the broken eyecup. As for the broken eyecup, I've read something in the internet that there's a way of placing back the broken eyecup into the camera without it getting out again, and it took a rubber band to spare me from spending around 400 bucks for another eyecup (my mistake before was I bought a replacement, only to find out that there was a remedy to it). So how to fix it? By following the instructions in the internet, I placed the elastic band around the eyepiece, then placed back the "broken" eyecup. And poof, it's not loose anymore! Sometimes, the internet gives good ways on fixing stuff by yourself. But that does not give you an excuse to be a total bum at home especially in times like this.

4) Made a formspring and addressing the haters.

I made a formspring, not that I wanted to join the bandwagon, but more to see those haters I have out there. Sure, I may have good friends, but since this world is imperfect, there exists these kinds of people called haters. Sure I have offended quite a number of people already because of bragging excessively and being a douchebag about it, I believe that I'd consider them as haters since they do NOT have the courage to tell in front of me their problems about me. And there, that's when you can find out who your true friends are, because true friends tell you about your flaws and want you to change them so that you can be a better person.

But that does not mean that these haters mean nothing. Sometimes what they say is true. Sometimes you need to listen to them. Why? Because like our true friends, these haters can help you, in one way or another, in finding more about your flaws and fixing them up as you try to be a better person.

5) Thankful to have true friends.

Yes, it's second year high school all over again, when I said the phrase "I'm tired of pleasing everybody" for the second time. Yet, this time around, I now understand why it is realistically impossible to please everybody, thanks to Jem R. to Mommy Cy (which, despite her being my REAL crush, I have become open to her about my problems), to the HBoys Iconn, Gian, and Martin (and me addressing the issue over me "flirting" over Betsy, Iconn's ex), to my sister Trisha, to HBoy / HCounselor JohnD (for addressing my flaws on my attitude and how I can correct them), to my Mommy Ayee (as I told her about remembering one memorable quote she said on what is the definition of a true friend), and to all other people who have bear with me on my rantings with pleasing everybody. Thanks, guys.

6) Speaking to Kuya Jess, after a long while.

While talking to mommy Cy about my problems, she told me about the need to pray, and in response, I asked her that I probably need to talk to Kuya Jess (Jesus for those who went through Days With The Lord during high school), and she said it does help when you talk to Him randomly. So I did.

One night, I asked Him questions, about my attitude, about my relationship with people, and many more. What I remember from that night is that he said that it is good that I am admitting my mistakes, and that I am willing to change. Also, He told me that I can still change my reputation towards people (even the haters) as long as I am still living. Yes, he meant that it is still not too late to change. Boy, randomly talking to Kuya Jess does help me. I want to go talk to him about another thing though (so maybe I need to ask Him about it later night or tomorrow night)

Just a few days, a lot has happened. I hope to make the most out of a short sembreak.

About this night.

I guess I have to talk to You.

Beyond the grade: A letter to students

A letter made by my Philosophy Professor in light of the events today. A must read.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Photo by me during relief operations last September 30

To Our Dearest Students,

With the release of your class standing this week (either in this board or in your classes), we are freeing most of you from your academic obligations so that you will be free to do your moral ones.

Last week was a time of great pride for all Ateneans. As soon as the flood waters rose to calamitous proportions, we as a community responded with great generosity. By the thousands we came, you most of all, to respond to the need for relief of those whose lives were brought to a painful halt by the floods. So many of you and so much of your energies were gathered in doing good when and where it was most needed. If there is anything that will most genuinely mark our being Ateneans in this Sequi year we celebrate, it is you passing bags and sorting clothes despite your own worries and pains. If only for that, I can say my work has a meaning.

Now that we are freeing you from your academics, we are calling you to continue that quiet heroism that you exhibited last week. When the floods rose, homes were ruined, the foundations of many lives lost, and psyches were hurt. Beyond being a time for relief, this is a time for rebuilding. Our task now is harder and costlier than relief, and that is why such a drastic step was taken by the VP and the deans. They have faith that if you are free to respond you will rise to the call of the moment.

This past week, I have heard many comments about how it might have been a mistake to let go of you this way. Some people said that not too many of our population were affected and that we should just have moved on and not lingered in this drama. I don't agree at all: 150 faculty, staff and maintenance personnel and 1000 students were directly hurt by this. Multiply that to the many more who are disturbed by their worry and concern for those among the hurt that
they love. I would say that this is a substantial number of our population.

I heard from some that if we let you go, most of you will just go back to your malls and your computers. But this is what I say to that: "I have been teaching in this university for 20 years and I know that it's probable that many of you will do just that. However, we need to free the energies of the responsible ones among you to come to the aid of our Ateneo family." Certainly we will lose many to cyberspace and the malls, but I believe that more will come with shovels, notebooks, ideas, and energies to help the wounded realize that there is life after the flood.

One remark I got was that we are babying you by absolving you of any more academic obligations. We should teach you to be tough by pushing you to persevere with your duties despite the hurting. The truth is that we are not babying you but challenging you to be strong enough to be able to rise to your higher duty the infinite responsibility for the other.

And so our dear students, with the posting of these grades we free you. Know that your philosophy teachers have faith in you--that without reluctance or doubt, we let you go to respond to the call.

Be safe and come back next semester with the wisdom you will gain in the lessons ahead of you.


Love,


Agustin Martin G. Rodriguez
Chair
Department of Philosophy

A Formspring about the hopeless romantic

My good friend, Leiron Martija, likes answering stuff in his formspring account. For this instance, I asked him: "is there hope for love for a person who is a hopeless romantic? Justify." and here's his insight on it:

Yes, you get your own formspring too.

You know what I think? I think the only kind of love that is real is the hopeless romantic kind. I kinda like the term “hopeless romantic”, especially the hopeless part. Love is the most abused word in every sense and in every language. Love is used to justify atrocities, to start and end wars, to destroy and rebuild. Love is the fulcrum upon which the entire world revolves around. It’s like we’re all solar panels and Love’s the freaking sun, you know what I mean?

I think if anyone in this world ever claims to be in ‘love’, it has to be forever. That’s both the romantic part and the hopeless part covered. How many girls have fallen for the false swagger and smooth talk of boys who promise fairytale dreams? How many boys gave their decency and their chivalry only to be replied with a girl’s insensitivity? It’s true, love is a victimizing business. But true love mutually victimizes, in such a way that no one ever is a victim.

I just think that before people even think along the lines of love, it’d be a good idea to really think about what they feel, and if they’re ready to muscle the burden of uttering love.

Because the truth is, Love is a very inconvenient, very hassling, very taxing and very tumultuous ordeal. It’s a thankless job. It’s not pretty. It’s thorns and toothpicks, it’s bumpy roads and foggy nights with a flat tire. Love is a trial, love is a game, love is everything but the beauty and the fame. Love is painful. Love is unreasonable. Love is thankless. Love is what keeps you up at night, what gets you sick, what breaks your bones and makes you bleed.

And love is what exists despite of these things.

So there. I want to tell you, whoever you are, that the only real kind of love that exists is the love of a hopeless romantic. Everyone else is either being a prude, an essentialist or a shallow-minded player in a game where nobody ever really wins.

As for chances…

No. Little or no chance for a hopeless romantic. Unless you find someone who’s sort of like a hopeless romantic, and that person has to jive with you, like the same things as you, get along with your family and friends, with your hobbies and your orgs, with your course and basically with everything that has to do with you. In matters of chances, you’d probably have better chances of finding things you will never need - pretension, hate, anger, irresponsibility, insensitivity etc. And and and…

…

You know what? There ARE no chances. Because if there were chances, then you’re not in love.

Have you ever known what it’s like to open the door to a dark room? That’s what love is like. Yeah yeah, you’ll never know what’s out there till you find out.

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My reaction: a very insightful post, that is good for my Philosophical reflections. Thanks, Leiron.

About the weirdest semester so far

We started the semester with the (A)H1N1 flu outbreak, and we end it with two destructive typhoons, namely Ondoy and Pepeng. Aside from that, we had events like President Cory Aquino's death, Iglesia ni Cristo's Eraño Manalo's death, the Con-Ass controversy, and typical events like the Ramadan, the end of Ramadan, and a bunch of minor typhoons that led to suspended classes. And add as will some juicy and controversial school news. With all this, a month worth of classes was cut off. Add to that, our teachers got sick as well, which made the matter worse.

In short, this whole semester's a big pain in the butt for me. I stopped writing, college life became boring, and I've become a mediocre college kid with less activity for org work and school work. Sure this sem may be a significant one since I was able to save my grades after that failed semester, I did it at a cost. I lost myself, my personality, and I ended up being the mediocre kid who has nothing but full of useless bashing and so-so output.

And you heard it right: FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I DON'T EVEN CONSIDER THIS AS A MAGIS / DL SEMESTER. Who the hell would like to have a semester that has optional finals? Not that I am trying to be killjoy about it, but it's just an unfair basis of knowing if you do well or not if you do not take the finals (not unless, you are really exempted for it, and that's a valid excuse).

And there's a whole lot of things to rant about this seemingly good semester. Oh God, I wish next semester will be of the TRUE magis spirt.

Things that interest me these past days

1) The Mystery of (me and) certain people

-Okay, it's that feeling again. But let's look at it in two perspectives: on myself and on a particular girl.

On myself, well it's more-than-obvious that I like her, that's a given. In events where she was there, I had this ecstatic feeling throbbing in my heart. Those steps she makes inspire my skills of photography (to be mentioned later). Yet, she's that person that seems fine with my cheesiness towards her, and I like it. Also, she's one of those girls that are easy to converse with. She's not the shy-type; she has this certain positive aura that keeps her perkiness and happiness spreading around. She's that kind that can make you happy, no matter what, and of course I like that. There's a lot of things to like about her, but I know it would just stay there. I've officially known her for just a few months (or maybe a year if I include my acquaintances with her), so the odds of me doing the you-know-what type of courting is still on the low. Seriously. Besides, I am not quite ready for it. (And let's name her the happy bear)

On other news, there is this other girl who has been a bit close to me ever since joining this particular organization (same organization the happy bear belongs). Well okay, she's pretty for one, and I just notice that she's that girl who'd notice me first during a shoot. In fact, in the most recent shoot I did, she insisted on having a photo with me (yes, me, this ugly looking pig who's writing this blog). Strange much? Yes. Like what are the odds that there's this pretty girl out there who likes some ugly pig like you? Ironic? Maybe. A pretty girl and a ugly guy would sound like it's true love, but I guess it's too good to be true. Is it possible? Just like the happy bear, she (or let's name her the perky lass) has just known me for like what, a few months. And aside from that, both the happy bear and the perky lass are seniors. Sad sad sad. I wonder what can I do in this remaining few months before they march up the stage, get their diploma, and go out to the working place. Only thing is that, both of them have potential. Or maybe the perky lass has higher potential. Sigh.

2) Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

-Oh Shoes. You got me once again.

After buying myself a pair of Legit (emphasis on LEGIT) Nike SB Dunk Lows last month, it seems that I want to feed this desire of me for shoes. I have been looking at various sites in the internet, judging and criticizing the latest releases in the sneaker world. So far, Adidas and Nike are my top preferences for sneakers, with the ZX700 and the Superstar for Adidas and the Dunks and Air Force 1s for Nike. So far, these two companies have endless ideas when it comes to shoe colorways, that they tend to come up with a new one every month. Some are a miss, some a miss. It all depends on the taste of the person wearing it.

Personally, my current preferences are either contrasting colors (think black and light blue or black and multiple light colors) or loud colors (think light blue, yellow, and pink all in one shoe). With three shoes at hand, all of which I purchased with my money for this year alone, I am sort of expecting myself to be obtaining a fourth one someday. I don't know about these shoes, but you know, they are like drugs. Once you buy one, the addiction never stops.

Aside from shoes by the way, I've been checking out the nice backpacks and shirts as well. Being brand-conscious, I have a picky taste for my apparel, wanting brands with the likes of Adidas, Nike, Abercrombie, Lacoste, Billabong, (and the list goes on). Yep, college life has caused me to be more conscious about what I wear on a everyday basis, all in the effort of making a statement and also to avoid those occasional fashion fail moments.

3) This thing called Academics

-Oh hey school. You never made me more interested than this time.

This particular semester is so far the most unique semester I have encountered so far. No not because of my screwed up grades, no not because of my first taste of college life, no not because of my taste of pile-high readings, but because of the fact that the semester really feels short, with all those holidays, suspended classes, and teachers getting sick. Although I can happily say that I am not as screwed up as last semester's epic failure, I felt that this semester has lost a lot of potential. A lot of missed opportunities, that's one, with all those interruptions to my (and probably every student's) college life.

Also, this semester is unique in the sense that it practically made me hate the free cuts, the holidays, the shortened classes, and their likes. Apparently, I am one of those "enlightened" students who are very well aware of this thing called time being golden and that it should be used properly. Frankly speaking, as much as I like these academic interruption to ease up myself on the hectic life of college, sometimes it just gets too much, to the point that I lose my productivity for academics. An evidence? During this week of no classes, all I did was read some readings, do a bit of my homework, fix up a presentation defense, and that's all. I didn't bother to even prepare for upcoming major tests, or even start on my major paper for one (yes, as of this writing, my major paper of Political Science is at ZERO progress, dammit).

How I wish first semester was longer (like the sacrifice for semestral break, but that's unlikely, based on what I am seeing right now) to compensate for the missed days. But I guess that's not happening right now, with final exams and other requirements becoming "optional" as ordered by the high officials of our college. Yes, time to make the most of the remaining days.

4) Photography on the next level, and a quick tune-up

-Yes, I love you.

Photography has been constantly giving me a lot of surprises, which some I have never expected. Starting off just two years ago, I have done a lot of things with this field, from photojournalism, to fashion shooting, to event shooting, to landscape shooting, to macro shooting, to concert shooting, and to various fields of photography that I have tried. With the help of various friends, I have expanded my knowledge with this field that I am loving next to writing. Photography has this way of doing things that the power of words cannot do. The power of images, in fact, has endless possibilities.

Even with my gear, I am quite surprised with what I have so far: getting a really good zoom lens (a 16-35 2.8L, which as of this writing is being re-calibrated, cleaned, and adjusted at the shop of my dad's friend), an all-around lens (the anything-is-possible 50 1.8), a good telephoto lens (the 55-200 Sigma, which is useful for daylight shooting, BUT not for indoor shooting :( ), a nice flash (with that wireless trigger set and diffuser), and other forms of equipment to complete my camera line-up. All I can say is that I am very well satisfied with what I have now, that I am not wishing for any more for now (well, maybe an 85 1.8 would do, or if money is not a problem, a 50D or a 70-200 2.8L).

Even with these praises I get from different people, I still have this drive on exploring other ways of interpreting a subject. All, that's the primary power of photography: it's ability to give different interpretations towards a subject. Just like writing, photography gave me the possibilities of looking and understanding things in a different way, in a way I would least expect to see it.

I've been waiting for a peaceful night.

For the past few days, typhoon Ondoy has created a massive destruction; in fact, this has to be the most massive typhoon (in terms of rainfall) in more than 42 years. Yes, 42 years.

Even if my family (save for my dad, who got stranded on that Saturday night) was fine during Ondoy's wrath, I felt really sad for the hundreds of families that got severely affected by the typhoon. Houses lost, cars destroyed, personal belongings gone, and a lot more. I feel sad for my friends, and even my uncle (who lives in Provident Village, one of the severely affected areas) as well, as they lost practically everything. Yes, literally everything.

On the day after Ondoy's wrath, after going to mass, me and my family went around our neighborhood and was shocked at what I saw. Cars piled up, one and another. Various furniture lying on the rooftops of cars. Tons of trash tangled at electric lines. People throwing stuff out of their house. Dead pets along the streets. It was depressing.

For days I stayed at home, surviving with almost 2 days of no electricity by studying (specifically, PoS130 readings, Eco Homework, and a bit of Histo). When electricity came back, I ended up editing photos (as going out was practically useless; roads outside of our house then were flooded still). Stayed the same way until Wednesday.

Last Wednesday, me and my Dad went to visit one of his friends affected by the typhoon. Gave him our old clothes, and was thankful for it. Then in the afternoon, I went to Ateneo to 1) Donate 3 boxes of bottled water, coming out of my own (and mom's) money, and 2) Help out there. I was never that happy to see that Ateneans, of all kinds, of all cliques, were there to help out the victims of Ondoy. It was one of those moments were an Atenean was a "man / woman for others". So happy to see students, faculty, alumni, staff, and many more constantly helping in the relief operations and giving donations, in various forms.

Now this Friday, I am here at home, monitoring updates on typhoon Pepepng. So far, here at Sta. Mesa, where I live, it's quiet outside. No signs of rain or drizzle. No signs of strong winds. Just a peaceful night. Looks like all is well for tonight.

After all, Ondoy and Peping can be seen in a different way. Maybe it's God's warning sign. Maybe it's His way of telling us to change our lives. And by surviving Ondoy and (hopefully) Peping, may these events be our eye-openers towards becoming better human beings.

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And I am back into writing once again (despite attempts of abandoning it) because it essentially has been part of me. Even if I do not write like how I did in the past 2-3 years, it is something that will remain there. I may be busy with photography, but there's always that space where I dedicate it to the use of words.

And I continue to write here to give my skills a run. If I do not use them, they'll surely become rusty, so why not write something interesting?

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*Next blog: On interesting stuff